Lent 2014 – 5: Life Ain’t Always Beautiful

Today I am struggling.  I am struggling with the constant barrage of negativity that surrounds me. I am struggling with trying to rise above and stay in a place of light and love, instead of succumbing to the negative nature of others. I am struggling with not needing the approval of people whose opinions I desire, but whose work ethic and management style I do not respect.  I am struggling with wanting to point out to people just how consistently negative they are, but knowing that that is not my place, or is it?  I am struggling with compartmentalizing the negative people in my life so that I can focus on being the best person that I can be.  I am struggling. 

Last week I posted a question as my Facebook status:

“How many co-workers do you truly and genuinely look forward to seeing each day when you go to work?”

I asked this because I knew that my cup had runneth over.   I asked this because I know that the “grass is always greener” and I was wondering if other people in other work places are as blessed as I am.  The response, I was right and they are not.  Each day I have a handful of people whom I look forward to seeing, not only because they are loving and funny and downright attractive, but because they are nourishment for my soul.  When I see them I smile with my whole being and I know that I am the lucky one.  This isn’t the first time that this has happened though.  For the entire time that I have been in the workforce, I have found myself in the company of some incredibly amazing people, many of whom have gone on to become incredibly dear lifelong friends.  So I know that, on some level, I must be doing something right. 

I also know that to every yin there is a yang.  For each positive and supportive person whose company I share, there are other negative and bitter individuals who will stop at nothing to prove that their way of life is the right way to go, even if they don’t realize that that is what they are doing.  People who stomp around, throw things, grunt and generally revert back to prehistoric times before man had mastered verbal communication.  Seriously, you are spitting in the face of 200,000 years of evolution when you fail to use your words to communicate your frustrations.  Then, when they do use their words, it’s like they only remember the bad ones.  Not everything is going to go perfectly, not everything is going to be done the “right way” the first time, and EVERYTHING has room for improvement, but that doesn’t mean that you should be so blind as to ignore the little things that did go right and to celebrate the little triumphs in life. 

For my entire life I have felt that God has used music to speak to me.  I will turn on my car and the exact thing that I need to hear at the exact moment that I need to hear it will be told to me through a song on the radio.  I will ask for guidance and song lyrics will play so loudly in my head that I will know I have received an answer.  I will find myself humming a tune during a difficult time and I will realize that it is a song attached to someone I love.  When I got the call to respond to Hurricane Katrina I prayed for guidance, within moments my head was filled with the song, “Here I am Lord” and I knew that I had been directed to go.  So I have stopped questioning it.  I open myself to the possibility that I am not alone and that the answers I seek will be told to me, if I open my heart and listen.  So today, as I drove home with tears streaming down my face, I turned on my radio and was greeted with the song, Life Ain’t Always Beautiful by Gary Allan and I knew that He was speaking to me again.

“Life ain’t always beautiful

Sometimes it’s just plain hard

Life can knock you down, it can break your heart.

Life ain’t always beautiful

You think you’re on your way

And it’s just a dead end road at the end of the day

But the struggles make you stronger

And the changes make you wise

And happiness has its own way of takin its sweet time

No, life ain’t always beautiful

Tears will fall sometimes

Life ain’t always beautiful

But it’s a beautiful ride.”

So today, I am struggling, but while I am struggling I know that life ain’t always beautiful, but most times it is.  So thank you to the people who have made it a beautiful ride!




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