Lent 2014-27: Tonight I Just Need to Rant

I had this entire blog written.  I needed to vent about how much pain I’ve been in because of the damn herniated discs in my back.  I needed to vent about how I’ve done every single thing asked of me for the last year and a half. I’ve taken every prescription I’ve been given (some have been enjoyable, others have made me so dizzy that I can’t even drive my car).   I have had three rounds of physical therapy, three rounds of cortisone shots, two rounds of Epidural Steroid Injections, I’ve been to a chiropractor and nothing has helped.  I have constant lower back pain, constant sciatica pain, and I don’t remember the last time that I was able to stand up straight without being in pain. I have Bursitis in both hips which makes it difficult to sleep on my side, I can’t sleep flat on my back, and sleeping on my stomach is good only in small increments.  So my nights are spent tossing and turning non stop and my days are spent with me being constantly tired.  I have six different kinds of ice packs, two different heating pads and a ridiculously expensive bed and mattress topper.  I make plans based on how far I will have to walk, if there will be a place for me to sit down if I need to, and how much time I will have to stand unassisted.  

I know that there are people who have it worse off than me, but I’m not talking about those people, I’m talking about me and my little corner of the world.  I had all these plans of what I was going to do when I FINALLY graduated from college, and so far I have done none of them.  I am angry, exhausted, and disappointed.  And that is why I deleted half of this blog.  I know that everyone has their own issues and these are just mine.  I know that everyone has something to complain about and many people can “top” my frustrations.  I know that there are people out there who would willingly trade me their pain.  So I deleted the rest of this blog and decided to watch Breaking Bad instead.  Perhaps that will put me in a better mood.  Perhaps.

Until tomorrow….

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